I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Alive.
So much puke
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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