he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize