Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just want to make out with him forever
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
