I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
