Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
