Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Farmville is her only friend.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
