Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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