Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
