no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
