Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
