after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
