I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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