I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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