You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize