1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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