ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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