you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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