Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
