Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
