i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
