honey bunches of taint.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
