Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
