Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
