you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
