Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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