miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
