and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
