Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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