did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
