There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
