xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
