He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
