grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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