We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
