we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
