Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Come on in and take your pants off
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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