I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
