So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
