Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
