For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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