No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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