alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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