I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
