maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Houston, we have a blender
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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