does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
