she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
