Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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