Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
