I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
sarcasm needs its own font
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You took a bar mat shot.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
