Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
