I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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