did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
