imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
