I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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