I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
