put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
