used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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