i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
