I wanna bring you to show and tell
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
