We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
