So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
