you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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