Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
